True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
