why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
