she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
