Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
