i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
