I need help removing her.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
