I wish I could teleport
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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