also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
