just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
