new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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