its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
