I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
