so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Pooping to opera.
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