you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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