pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
