Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
