I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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