He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
