Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize