BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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