; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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