i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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