It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
