are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
love makes seman taste better
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
