i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
