So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
