3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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