I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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