I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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