Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The uberlube is also flammable
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
