went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
