oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How does it feel to date your dad?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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