C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
