just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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