why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
