If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize