Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
