it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
