so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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