So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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