is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
