this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
