Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
did i just pee glitter
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
