shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize