Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
