i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
