We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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