shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
