I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize