There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
