i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
