If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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