highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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