I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
