I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Never underestimate the power of titties
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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