Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
