I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
