I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
