I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You left your phone here
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