they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
