Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize