Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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