She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I stole a fireplace last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
