I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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