finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
