plz talk dirty to me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
