Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
