Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize