its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
